You do you!

By Lucy Grimwade

We now live in a world, where finding yourself is no longer a woo-woo subject. With the rise of self-help, self-awareness and self-actualisation content, that is so freely available - between you and me, I'm here for it.

'You do you', has become somewhat of a natural response from me. I'll be honest, it started more as an argument closer with my partner when he was getting on my last nerve with a snap of my fingers and sarcastic tone of: 'Do you know what? YOU DO YOU!'

More recently, I have been using it less passive aggressively and re-invented the way I say the phrase with a unique sense of empowerment.

Because, you, should 100% do you.

But, What do-ya mean?

If you have been following me for a while, you will see that I talk a lot about the cookie cutter cultures and how that I am NOT here for that.

I am a huge advocate for 'being your authentic self' - I know, I know - It is an overused phrase but, from someone who spent their 20's trying to fit it or to hide when fitting in wasn't an option and, then being told to 'not be yourself' when I found my voice - I can't help but to advocate for a BE YOU movement.

Finding < Insert Your Name Here>

Who are you? Like, really WHO. ARE. YOU?

For something so simple, we do like to overcomplicate things.

Finding or evening knowing yourself isn't about going on a yoga retreat for 6 months and then coming back, ending your marriage or quitting your job after having an epiphany mid-meditation. (Although, the 6 months vacation does sound appealing).

There is an easier way and I like to call it, Finding <insert your name here>. This process requires boundaries, time, honesty and support.

When finding yourself, what is helpful, is to identify:

• Your Needs: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a helpful tool that shows layers of needs from the most basic all the way up to self-actualisation. With a mantra of, becoming everything that you are capable of becoming.

• Your Values: These are core guiding principles giving meaning to your life, that also determine your attitudes, choices, and actions.

• Your Passions: These are the things that you are curious about and motivate you. They fundamentally determine how you want to spend your time.

• Your Super Powers: These are the things that you do well.

• Your Kryptonite: These are the moments that can trip you up.

• Your Personality Type: This is give you a different level of understanding on perhaps the face that you show to the world.

• Your Education and work experience: These are facts. (And be curious here, how does your career play into the other attributes on this list?)

• Your Hobbies: Different to your passions, but can be linked. These are the things that bring you joy.

• Your Image: This is how you dress. Does your wardrobe reflect who you are?

And when you've done all that, crack on with:

• Asking for 360º feedback: This is about asking people (and not just the people you like) to give you a view on how they see you.

• Then Set Your Goals: Getting specific about what you want to achieve greatly increases your chances of success.

Stay true to yourself

The hardest part is always staying true to yourself. Because, unfortunately difference isn't always celebrated. We expected to fit-in or to be quiet.

Or worst still have no personality at all, becoming an army of robots. 🤖🤖🤖🤖

The mantra I live by is 'Don't be like the rest of them, Darling' said by, of course, Coco Chanel. I wish I could give you the answer to staying true to yourself, but with the true coach-like approach: only you can answer that.

Why it's important to be authentic?

Masterclass summarised it perfectly: 'Being authentic is important because it contributes to your holistic well-being, encouraging happiness, fulfillment, and high self-esteem. When your actions align with your true nature, you’re more likely to pursue your passions, believe in yourself, and feel confident in your opinions. Conversely, inauthenticity can negatively impact your mental health, leading to a displaced sense of purpose.

Being your authentic self also means being honest with those around you, which allows you to build deep and meaningful relationships.'

Difference is good for business

And because we are not a bunch of cyberpeople, it has been proven that that diversity is blooming good for business.

'Diversity and productivity go hand in hand. Research has found that diversifying your team can boost productivity by 35%.. A diverse workforce is more likely to understand your customers’ needs and come up with ideas to fulfill them. Diversity in the workplace will also increase employee morale and instill a desire to be more effective and work more efficiently. This will greatly increase the productivity of your business.' - PrincePerelson 

Let others be

Did you see Richard Osman on The Diary of a CEO? 

What stuck with me was when he spoke about his height - "If you are different in any way, you are reminded of it." He said, followed by, "If you see someone who is different, they do not need to be told."

Let people be who they are. And focus on your own patch of grass.

Final thoughts

We all know the phrase that if everyone was the same the world, would be a boring place.

So, you, do you - means be yourself. To stand-out. And, be authentic and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Learn More

• Learn self-expression and authenticity from RuPaul with the MasterClass Annual Membership.

• Understand more about authenticity with MindTools. 

• How to accept, know and express yourself with Psychology Today.